jennorater's Blog
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Oh Lawd! Another survey!
2/28/08 1 CommentOh Lawd! Another survey……..
1. Your best friend tells you that she is pregnant….What is your reaction? “ I thought you weren’t going to discuss the “abduction” and anal probing”
2. Do you wear a name tag at work at what does it say? I’m up here ( arrow points up from my boobs)
3. When shopping at grocery store, do you return your shopping cart? Depends if I am driving…if not I sit on it and ride it home.
4. Do you hate chocolate? Um yeah….look at my ass! Is that a chocolate hater?
5. The first person that you deleted off you myspace friends list? Sorry Tom but you had to go….sniff….sniff
6. Are you gay? I’m happy most of the time (lol)
7. Do you believe in love at first sight? No…..love comes after you have read his bank statement and see how many “0”’s are on it!
8. The last time you ate onions? When I ate your liver with fava beans and a nice bottle of Chianti.
9. Do you play Sudoku? No, and don’t call me Sudoku!
10. Are you generally a happy person? Refer back to # 6..I’m gay remember! (lol)
11. Your ex is on the side of the road, on fire. What do you do? Grab a stick and toast a marshmallow, then melt some chocolate and graham crackers and “poof” instant Smore’s !!!! YUMMY!
12. Ever been to LA? Yes, and eagerly awaiting for my return plane ticket to arrive from Brad Pitt!
13. What do you order when you go to Taco Bell? Taco salad…..buy it…bring it right home and throw directly into toilet ( saves a step!) Eeeeeeeeewwwww! Gross I know but Taco Bell does not agree with my stomach. TMI
14. Who do people mistake you for? I was just told the other day that I look like Pamela Anderson…but the person had a stick and a guide dog…sigh…
15. Is there anyone who you like right now? I haven’t licked anyone in ages!….sorry, misread that….my bad!
16. Why do you do these silly surveys? What? I don’t get paid for the Q & A? WFT???
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Speaking my mind
1/23/08 4 CommentsFirst, relationships are supposed to make us better people. Do not get your panties in a bunch when your family, friends or co-workers are telling you something that you might not like to hear. Those that love you are supposed to point out areas in your l
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~ Life ~
1/19/08 1 CommentLife is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one’s who don’t. Believe everything happens for a reason.. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.
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It's been a long time....
1/10/08 6 CommentsHello all my fellow Loyals! First let me start off by saying Happy New Year! I know it has been a long time since I have been on and felt the need to explain…....Death is never an easy thing to deal with and when it hits you close to home it’s even harder. I found out Christmas day about the death of my good friend Bob ( Tallicafanatic ) and it put me in a tail spin…........Bob was the first person to ever welcome me to the CA site and the first to befriend me…...the first person how to teach me how to add pictures to the website ( what a loser I was I know..lol)....the first person to send me a private email….think you are getting the idea. This of course grew into a strong friendship with daily conversations and teasing and joking. We would poke fun at each other in our blogs etc.One of his favorite places to eat was Hooters and once he found out I worked there he was in Hooter joke heaven!.Everyone that knows me knows that I am involved with my paranormal team doing investigations every weekend etc.I am a firm believer that once you die that is not the end if you choose.You are able to come back in visitation if you want ect.Bob loved his children more than life itself and with that said….I know he is here visiting his boys and Gail….maybe dropping in on me to bust my chops about an order of drummies and a pitcher of beer to go!~ Bob you were the first person to welcome me here and for that I am forever grateful. I can say I love you Bob and you are truly missed but I feel good knowing that you are with the angels now.
Rest in peace my friend and I love you….....
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What gift not to buy....TASER!
12/15/07 8 CommentsTaser Classic…don’ t tell me you can read this without laughing… I laughed till I cried!!! ( Only a guy would do this!)
A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Taser for their anniversary submitted this:
Last weekend at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop I was looking for a little something extra for my wife, Toni. What I came across was a 100,000-volt pocket/purse- sized taser. The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on an assailant. The idea is to allow my wife—who would never consider a gun—adequate time to retreat to safety. WAY TOO COOL!!
Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded in two triple-a batteries and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. But then I read (yes, ‘read’) that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I’d get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs and I’d know it was working.. Awe some!!! (Actually, I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave). Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn’t be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?!!
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh and blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong??
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
So, I’m sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as if to say, ‘don’t do it,’ reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn’t hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION @
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! I’m pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, and body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again.
I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs.
You should know, if you ever feel compelled to ‘mug’ yourself with a taser, that there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. SON-OF-A-... that hurt like heck!!!
A minute or so later (I can’t be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected what little wits I had left, sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they up get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I’m still looking for my testicles!! I’m offering a significant reward for their safe return.
Still in shock, Earl
